Alison Spittle is the Cover Girl for the print edition of Entertainment Now
Alison Spittle is kicking things off rather well this Fringe.
Copstick: (slightly starstruck) OMG – you are a cover girl! Did you ever imagine you would be a cover girl?
Alison:(not that bothered) I’ve actually imagined being inside a Kinder egg more times than I’ve imagined being a cover girl.
Copstick: (gobsmacked)
Alison:(warming up) I imagine my funeral a lot. I’d want a good spread of food, I’m talking soup, sandwiches and maybe a cheeky lasagna, actually a nice cheese board and baba ghanoush.
I sometimes imagine meeting Kim Woodburn and Rihanna, I’d hope they’d like me but I’d be scared I’d give off needy vibes and they wouldn’t like me.
Copstick: (kind of wishing I had asked something better)….
Alison: (Suddenly) Oh sugar, I’ve just remembered I was on a few magazine covers in Ireland. My mam has them. One photo shoot they arranged cans around my head like I was the Virgin Mary. I loved that. but very bad at ‘giving face’ I must look up how to do it on YouTube. I fixed my phone that way.
Copstick: (feeling it is about time to change subject) You’re doing a comedy podcast ‘Wheel of Misfortune’ with KERRY KATONA !? (my mind goes blank) Have you seen her without her make-up ? OK dish the goss’
Alison: (kindly, given the mess I am making of this) Ask away, yes I’ve seen her without make up. THERE IS A PAUSE. This is the most low stakes gossip ever. ANOTHER PAUSE
We did an Irish TV show together and she sent her glam squad down to sort me out, I wore false eye lashes and they were divine.
Copstick: You met through a food podcast I hear?
Alison: Ah that’s how I first met Kerry, I did a pilot for a podcast that’s a comedic investigation podcast called ‘Are Findus Crispy Pancakes Feminist?’ I also interviewed a food historian and Rustie Lee, I’m sad it hasn’t seen the light of day. I think it’s one of the best things I’ve made. Anyway, when my best mate left the podcast, we replaced her with my childhood hero, but it’s strange to talk about lion’s piss with a popstar.
Copstick: (trying to retrieve myself). She was your childhood idol?
Alison: Kerry was in Atomic Kitten, she was Queen of the Jungle and is the most beloved English woman in Ireland – she got Ireland in the divorce! She’s kind and funny and there’s no bullshit about her. In answer to your question: Yes.
Copstick: (making a quick note to find this Feminist Findus podcast as it sounds fascinating) I really like your attitude to money – talk us through it
Alison: I don’t care about who the richest person is. Having lots of money is not an achievement. I’ve a secret feeling money isn’t real even though I’ve worked with economists in the past, I think it’s like reiki healing, I know people are passionate about it but I just don’t know how it works.
Copstick: (liking this woman more and more) You are in a soup sharing app. SOUP ?
Alison:(Hopefully warming to me … no pun intended) Yeah love the stuff and love that corner of the internet. Imagine Twitter but you only discuss soup. An online eutopia.
Copstick: (Feeling we might bond here) OK I am going with this, what is the best soup ?
Alison:(thoughtfully) It changes everyday but today I’m vibing with mushroom. A little big of nutmeg on that bad boy with french bread.
Copstick: (I think I can get contentious here) FYI the correct answer is Chinese Hot and Sour.
Alison: Woah it’s a punchy little number, I respect your choice.
Copstick: Will you be involving soup in your show this year ?
Alison: I will ask some of the audience their favourite soup and figure out their soup style. You’re hot and sour soup so I would say you love a row and not afraid of being controversial (full disclosure, I’ve googled you so I’m not sure if that’s infringing on my psychic soup senses)
Copstick: (impressed) Now you are an award-winning, podcast rocking, popular TV series writing, playwright/comic/broadcaster and friend to the stars … what is the attraction of a basement that smells like danger and sadness in Edinburgh for a month ?
Alison: (confidently) Danger is my confirmation name. I can’t wait to gig with Monkey Barrel, the split is good and they’ll let me sell badges and tote bags. Commerce babeh. I’ll be sleeping on a bed of coins by the end of the Fringe.
Nice.
Alison Spittle: Soup
13:25
Monkey Barrel
August 2 – 27
