Twenty five years after being a finalist in new act competition So You Think You’re Funny, alongside Jimmy Carr, Russell Howard, Josie Long and David O’Doherty Juliet Cowan is finally making her Fringe debut. Now a successful film and TV actress she is relishing the ‘baptism of fire’ which is the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
So tell us about your show. Why should we go and see it?
My Show is about me…all me (Laughs maniacally) , through the ages from when I was a single cell amoeba until now that I am an antibiotic resistant middle aged woman trying to reconnect with her teenage self. It is a hilarious romp through hormone withdrawal, life ruination and thoughts about how best to stay attractive whilst dying. Please come and cheer yourselves up, visit me in my very own museum of me and maybe even wolf down the sandwich that I offer you just to make sure you will never leave.
What makes you laugh?
What makes me laugh is spelling jokes, they are my favourites. I also giggle a lot when people are angry with me which happens a lot at inappropriate times. When I got married, I giggled so much that the officiant (ummm is that the word) said “I am going to have to call a halt to these proceedings if you don’t stop giggling” I had to slap my own face which is what I do when I corpse (laugh whilst performing) The other day when we were filming Am I Being Unreasonable Dustin Demri Burns and I were having problems pronouncing this phrase and couldn’t stop laughing and I had to slap myself because i didn’t want to ruin the days filming and be charged thousands of pounds.
How would you describe your performance style and why?
My performance style is slightly arch, I think. I am trying to be less facially expressive as it gives you wrinkles. I like it when I can see people because I really like it when it all feels like a conversation. But one where only I speak and where anyone else who speaks gets cleverly insulted- just like most of my favourite conversations.
Are you nervous before you go on stage – and what do you do about it?
Oh goodness, I am either too nervous or not nervous enough. I am the wrong Goldilocks of nervousness. I once took three beta blockers which just gave me a tummy ache. Sometimes I feel very religious and pray but then if you go along with that, it just spills over into your everyday life and you become religious which I am trying to resist.
What is your idea of a Fringe feast?
People are telling me about food and places to eat. I don’t eat supper because it makes me feel sad to go to bed with a full stomach. It isn’t as sociable but I am hoping that lunch is going to feature big in the culinary excitement in Edinburgh. Some friends are coming on the first night and they have booked a table at Solti, which sounds fun and I will break my rule. I can’t imagine I will feel sad as I will have done my first night.
How do you expect your audience to feel after an hour in your company?
After an hour in my company, I think most of my audience will feel urgent, religious and cosy and they will think things they have never thought before. I am hoping that my show will be like an egg to my audiences. A totally mundane, quotidian item, which, when it hatches, reveals something that has never been seen before. When I say egg, I didn’t mean one of the period eggs that are just eaten but one of the womb eggs that a chicken hatches out of.
When did you realise you were born to be on stage?
I never realised I was born to be on the stage. As a young child my dream was to run a hamster and gerbil farm but I soon realised there was no money in it and also it wasn’t really a job. I could have run a pet shop but that was too general for my dreaming ways. I mostly like being on stage if I feel like people can’t see me .
Why is the Edinburgh Fringe so important to performers around the world?
The Edinburgh Fringe is a freaking baptism of fire like no other. I don’t think I will be the same person when I get home and that is a good thing as my children are always telling me ways I could improve myself and sending me pictures of ways I should have done stuff. I may not be improved but I will probably be wrong in different ways and so at least the criticisms will feel fresh and exciting.
How will you relax when not on stage?
like swimming and I will probably find a bus that will take me out to the sea and then stand on the beach thinking it is a bit too cold to go in. Probably about half way through the run I will go in and then I will be unbearable going on about how I am a bonafide wild swimmer but it will be worth it because I will have done something I can boast about but there isn’t an award for it, so if I don’t win an award I won’t feel bad.
Who is your showbiz idol and why?
Showbiz idol wise I love all the Dolly Partons, the Jennifer Coolidges, anyone who doesn’t turn their nose up at a good book and a bit of a sing song, for that reason I also love Claudia Winkleman (except for her fraudulant claim that she has dandruff) I love Lucia Keskin, all the blondes really and also other colour hair.
What is your idea of a perfect Fringe moment?
A perfect Fringe moment for me is when I cannot get out of my dressing room door for the tiny folded up and scented love notes left for me by super rich, genius millionnaires that spend hours thinking up esoteric reasons why they love my show. I might also cry with joy if someone left me a puppy as I may be lonely in the cold summer nights. I am also dreaming up having a supremely posh meal where I am presented with a scotch egg that has something so delicious and surprising in it that tears come to my eyes.
Juliet Cowan: Fuck Off & Leave Me Alone, 19.00 Pleasance Dome, until August
https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/juliet-cowan-f-ck-off-and-leave-me-alone
