Comic Aaron Twitchen is the author of a new book, Homo History – a seriously funny break down of the important LGBTQ+moments in history – from Stonewall to Donna Summer. “I wanted to write a book that I’d enjoy reading, but which covered important events, whilst still being fun and funny,” he says.
Aaron Twitchen, who is at Gilded Balloon with his show Himbo, shares an exclusive extract about a schools protest which happened in 2019 in Birmingham, where he used to live.
In March 2019, crowds of parents gathered outside a primary school in central Birmingham. The angry, placard-carrying mob tapped their feet and wielded signs reading
“My child, my choice”
“Let kids be kids”
“Any Pizza, Any Price, 6.99 collection only”
Sadly, the carriers of the placards were the parents of the children at the school.
This was no isolated incident. These protests occurred at pick up and drop off for weeks. Their concern? An educational program called No Outsiders. A series of school lessons which taught that bullying was bad, and no one should be made to feel isolated. Oh, included in that was a note that same sex relationships were ok.
Their main concern was that sessions were not age appropriate and would undermine parents’ rights to choose when their children are “exposed” to gay teaching.
‘Exposed’. That was the word they used. Like homosexuality is a radioactive substance. Don’t panic, parents: coming into contact with a gay will not cause you to develop a superpower. I don’t know what exposure to a gay could possibly produce. The ability to accessories or recite the lyrics to Madonna’s “Ray of Light”, maybe.
As a society, we push and promote heterosexuality on children from birth. Yet still, despite this constant indoctrination, people are gay. So why the frequent fear that it will work the other way?
It’s hard not to draw comparisons with the restrictive teaching started in the late 80s, in schools, brought in by Section 28.
Section 28 was an act of parliament that banned the teaching of homosexuality in schools. It was enacted in May 1988, which is the gayest year of any century. 88. Two fat ladies, lying in bed next to each other: GAY!
Obviously, the straightest year is 15 because it’s a straight couple in bed. The five is a husband taking up all the space and the one is his wife rolled to one side pretending to have a headache.
Section 28 was not an actual law but an amendment to an existing bill that banned local authorities from “promoting the teaching of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship”. In practice, this meant the closing of council-led queer support groups and the halting of any gay-focused education in school.
By 1987, the British social attitudes survey showed 75% of the population said homosexual activity was ‘always wrong’ and only 11% believed it to be ‘never wrong’ (and you can bet your disco stick that’s because that 11% were doing it).
Section 28 had had strong public support, particularly in mainstream newspapers, such as the Sun, the Daily Telegraph, and the Daily Mail. Which, honestly, seems like an own goal. The Daily Mail has a titillating sidebar of shame, selling sensational stories of Samantha Fox in a bikini and Perrie from Little Mix’s new fringe. These stories are not being read by the heterosexual men of the world. They are being shared by gay men to their networks of straight single female allies. It amazes me the Daily Mail doesn’t recognise its audience and continues to alienate us.
Margaret Thatcher’s 1987 Conservative party campaign issued attack posters that suggested the Labour party wanted brightly coloured, and sexually explicit, books promoting homosexuality taught in every school. I bet the posters were better designed than the Parkfield placards (I know I keep going on, and I know it’s not the point, but they were such shoddy artwork. There had been no consideration for font or colour. Pick a palette. Create a brand. Give yourself a fighting chance of spreading hatred.)
Just like people with the No Outsiders programme, Margaret Thatcher’s government were very scared of books. In the 80s, books were frightening things. They didn’t have Facebook, or Twitter, so had no idea how quickly fascism could spread or how quickly people could meme a clip of Jennifer Coolidge saying, “These gays are trying to kill me.”
Much like the protesters at Parkfield school, they thought people checking out books from a library, and then leisurely reading them over coffee, would turn them gay. In reality, banning something just makes it more exciting.
In 1983, fan fiction site, the Daily Mail, began reporting on controversial book Jenny Lives with Eric and Martin. It’s a picture book centering on a young girl who lives with her father and his male partner.
In the name of research, I decided to find this book online. To buy from Amazon, used, costs £2,115.99. For fifty-two pages of black and white photos. You don’t even see any knobs. My OnlyFans account dreams of that kind of traction.
Jenny, Eric, and Martin weren’t even famous. They’d never had a scandal and never been on Love Island. Just three ordinary people, going about their business, buying bread, and visiting the launderette.
For context, a signed photo of an arguably more famous Jenny, Wheel of Fortune star Jenny Powell, costs £11.95. And that comes in a frame. With free postage. You could buy 176 Jenny Powells for one Jenny-Eric-Martin.
If that is the power of Daily Mail reporting, and all you have to do is antagonise the right wing into a hate campaign, then I will be renaming this book and releasing it with new pictures on Monday, titled Aaron Lives with European Migrants and Antifa.
After thirteen years of protest, Section 28 was eventually repealed in Scotland on 21 June 2000. The same week Kylie Minogue released “Spinning Around”.
I’m not saying Kylie made that happen but there is a reason the gays have let her have five number one albums in five decades. England would drag its heels for a further two years, repealing the act on 18 November 2002. (A week after Kylie Minogue released “Slow”. Her gayest video ever. Coincidence? I think not).
As for No Outsiders, the school gates protests led to an indefinite suspension of the programme and a legal battle between the parent protest group and the school. Honourably, the head teacher stood by the program, promoting its worth and his desire to bring it back.
I found this story really upsetting. I spent ten years living in Birmingham. And I loved it. It’s a diverse city, with more McDonald’s than libraries, and for the most part people are genuinely tolerant. The city screams ‘fusion’. (It also screams ‘Finish the road works; we don’t need a tram’ but nobody is listening to that.)
When I hear the words of these protestors, and see images of the placard carrying mob, it is a Birmingham I don’t recognise. I quote from their own press release:
“Morally we do not accept homosexuality as a valid sexual relationship. It’s not about being homophobic… we should choose when our children are exposed to Homosexuality.”
Their argument is one for tolerance of their views. That they, as a community, deserve to have their views and values respected. Yet, imagine taking that first sentence and changing the word ‘homosexual’ to any other minority group: Muslim, female, Black.
“We do not accept Black as a valid sexual relationship. It’s not about being racist… We should choose when our children are exposed to Blacks.”
I hope we can all clearly hear that is wrong. That if we heard that being said outside a school, we would stand up to it and demand a change.
After a tedious legal battle, the courts found in favour of the school. The No Outsiders program continues today. Bigger actually. It continues to thrive. It’s a registered charity and available for sessions in classes near you.
You can buy Homo History on Amazon:
