Since 1990, in the USA, thanks to M Hirsch Goldberg, April 30 has been National Honesty Day. I will give you a short pause to howl with derisive laughter.
But it occurs to me that, should the day need a patron saint, it should be Miriam Margolyes.
In a world plagued by the kind of ubiquitous doublespeak that would curl George Orwell’s hair, a conversation with Miriam is a thrilling experience. It is like an intellectual buffet where, just when you think you have found the most delicious dish, the next turns out to be even more piquant.
Intelligence, knowledge, passion and honesty make for a rare mix. “I have no secrets,” she says “I decided very early on in life that the strongest position was to be completely open.”
And she is. She is the ultimate, metaphorical open book, exquisitely written and constantly engaging.
And it is not as easy as she makes it look. You only have to look at much of the response to her perfectly innocent comment to Wil.I.Am on the Graham Norton show. “Unfortunately, I don’t know many black people”, she told him. Because she doesn’t. Much social media responded as if she had put out a call to join her personal chapter of the KKK.
She is a huge fan of Mr Norton. He, along with Professor Sprout, has made her something of a National Treasure. “Graham Norton is an absolutely lovely man. He has changed my life. Before I went on his show I was not well known and now I am.”
The viewing public hangs on her every word on that sofa, generally, in the hope that the next one might be ‘moist’, or ‘wet’ or …
“When I say cunt – I have shocked myself sometimes” she says, “I don’t know why it has become such a thing but I know that people expect me to say it when I am onstage – and it will occur. I am very confident that I am a good person, so I think it is allowed for me to say cunt every now and again.” Oh it is, Miriam, it is.
“I’ve burnt my boats, and there they are – smouldering in public view.” she says of the kind of reactions her beautifully phrased pronouncements frequently invoke.
“Why should I change my life because you feel offended?”
I have brought strawberries and a Cadbury’s Caramel (she still has the voice) and Miriam has cake. So there is a picnic as we talk.
About her parents, whom she adored unequivocally, about her occasional regrets about never having been cast at the National or RSC, about coming out as a lesbian and about her despair at the state of politics here today.
“Because being gay wasn’t the norm when I was growing up, you didn’t know that it was an option. So the way to behave was with men and it was only later, when I realised there was something else, that I went full steam ahead into dykedom.”
Miriam is rather a full steam ahead person.
“I have been a life long Labour party supporter” We pause to enjoy a short Jeremy Corbyn fan-girl moment. “But I don’t like many aspects of the labour party at the moment. If I were in Scotland I would probably vote SNP.”
We move on, as even cake and strawberries cannot make the current state of politics a topic for enjoyable conversation.
Miriam has dual (“bi” is how she describes herself) nationality and absolutely loves her life in Australia. “I think Britain is a bit class-ridden. People tend to be judged by how rounded their vowels are.”
She also thinks we are endemically anti Semitic.
“Nobody likes Jews.” she says. “You can’t say people like Jews. We’re not popular. We’re too smart to be liked. But it has been unacceptable to express anti-Semitism since the Holocaust.” She is bravely vocal against everything that the Israeli government is doing in Palestine, which has brought her much heartache.
“It’s very hard to talk about Palestine to Jewish people – they see me as a betrayer. My own relatives disown and vilify me and that is painful” she says.
Which brings us to Dickens – other than her long-term partner, the great love of her life. And the subject of her Edinburgh show
“Fagin was the first Dickens character I loved, but then I found out he was a Jew and I thought – that is weird – I have never known a Jew like Fagin. But there were ones”.
To hear her speak Dickens’ words is an almost visceral pleasure, and I was never particularly a Dickens fan. I am now. Although, to be fair, I would be a fan of anything this woman did.
Tiny word of warning for ticket holder: if she sees someone using a mobile phone she will walk offstage. And to be the one who causes Miriam Margolyes to walk offstage mid show is tantamount to a cultural war-crime. Although she might just call you a cunt.
Margolyes and Dickens: The Best Bits, 14:00 Pleasance EICC, August 7 – 15
https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/margolyes-dickens-the-best-bits